In my life recently I've found that I feel like I always have a lump in my throat and that I'm always hesitating, always denying myself of anything positive indirectly.
I could never quite understand, and seeing other people always made me brim with envy, or generated so much insecurity in me. Whenever anyone seemed better than me at something, I never knew why, but I would get so defensive, I would get protective, I wouldn't feel safe.
Even when it came to my best friend, work, family, friends, anything...
It felt like I was being trapped in a vicious cycle.